Personality Type: Nine – The Peacemaker or Mediator
Enneagram is a model of human psychology that describes nine fundamental personality types. Here comes the basic characteristics of the “Nine”.
Dominant Traits: People-Pleaser, Friendly, Agreeable, Cooperative, Adaptable, Trusting, Easy-going, Empathetic
Focus of Attention: Other people and the external environment; Going with the flow Basic Desire: Peace and Harmony
Basic Fear: Conflict, Separation, Chaos
Strengths: Skilled Mediator, Warm, Open-Minded, Caring, Amiable, Peace-Loving
Challenges: Avoids Conflict, Stubborn, Indecisive, Overly Conciliatory, Hates Change, Low Self-Worth
General Behavior of the "Nine"
“Why can’t we all just get along?” says Nine or the Peacemaker. That’s the main desire of this personality type.
They’re gentle, peace-loving people, and would like nothing more than to maintain a harmonious environment.
They’re focused on other people’s agendas, and what’s going on around them, and tend to forget themselves and their own feelings and needs. Pleasing everyone and keeping the peace are more important. They believe that to get love and be valued, one must go with the flow. Nines are very Zen.
Many Nines are introverts, in truth. They need to be, to keep themselves insulated from a world where chaos is ever present. Even when they’re social and active, a part of them are kept in reserve.
They are likeable, steady, tolerant and optimistic, but don’t ask a Nine about their real feelings. So focused are they on blending in, that they are out of touch with their emotions. They forget themselves, including their dreams and desires, to keep the peace.
Nines are trusting people. They are optimistic and they see the best in others. They’re the types who believe that everything will work out in the end. They’re great friends to have, and are generally good listeners. They will focus on you and will not try to assert their own views and opinions. They’d make supportive and loving parents.
In the workplace, Nines are very poor leaders, but they can be good coordinators. They’re usually popular with their colleagues, but their indecisiveness and fear of conflict makes them ill-equipped to lead a team.
With regards to change, they avoid it too. The unpleasant feeling of being outside of their comfort zone is not welcome. But when change happens, they can easily adapt.
The problem with Nines is their lack of faith in themselves. This attitude encourages people to take their valuable contributions for granted.
They are often overlooked, because they don’t demand for anything. But this neglect hurts Nines deeply. It’s a sadness that they battle by continuing to please, in the hopes that everything will be okay.
How to Get Along with a Nine
- Give them attention and ask them what they think and need. This helps them be more in touch with their own emotions.
- Let them know that it’s ok if they can’t do something you asked. Otherwise, they will agree to do it even if they don’t have the time or the energy.
- Encourage them to talk about their own plans and priorities, and support them on their action plan.
- When they express anger or sadness, empathize with them, and show appreciation for what they do.
- Help them steer their focus back to themselves instead of other people’s agendas.
- Help them realize what’s important to them and what they want to do.
How to Overcome the Negative Effects of Being a Nine
- Remember that internal harmony is more important than external peace. To be of more value to others, you will need to value yourself first, and recognize the wonderful things about yourself that you can share.
- Your worth is not dictated by other people. You don’t need their approval, and it’s impossible to be liked by everyone. Don’t try so hard.
- Conflict is part of life, but there can be order even in chaos. You don’t have to engage every conflict, but if it falls on your path, face it and know that you can overcome it.
- Believe in yourself. Love yourself. Your needs, desires and emotions are as important as everyone else’s. You have the right to be happy too.
- You have the right to ask for what you need, and the right to turn away from things you don’t agree with.
- Finding out what you don’t want can lead you to the things that you want.
- When you’re stressed, instead of avoiding or denying the problem, face it head on and then retreat to quiet moments of meditation. Practice deep breathing and regroup.
Criticism of the Enneagram model
The Enneagram model of personality has been criticized as being subject to interpretation and difficult to test or validate scientifically. You can read about The Big Five model of personality that has gained more scientific consensus here.
- Type Nine – The Mediator
- Wikipedia – The Enneagram of Personality
- International Enneagram Association – Enneagram Systems and Types
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